Types of Domestic Abuse

Domestic violence, also known as intimate partner violence, domestic abuse or conjugal violence refers to any behaviour that causes physical, psychological or sexual harm to those in the relationship. Domestic violence cuts across cultures, religions, social backgrounds, and economic levels.  

While domestic abuse is often associated with physical violence, this is only one type of abuse.  Domestic violence can take on many forms, often with overlapping forms at once. Power and control are at the centre of an abusive or violent relationship, where one person uses tactics to gain power and control over the other. 

Psychological / Emotional abuse 

  • verbal aggression/abuse including yelling, swearing and insulting you

  • Use of verbal and social tactics to control your way of thinking

  • ‘Gas-Lighting’: making you doubt your own feelings and thoughts, and even your sanity, by manipulating the truth

  • Playing mind games

  • Threatening you with words or intimidation

  • Following or stalking you

  • Frequently criticizing or correcting you

  • Putting you down,  calling you names

  • Blaming you for the abuse

  • Telling you you’re not good enough / no one could ever love you

Social Abuse and Isolation

  • Behaviour that aims to cut you off from your  family, friends, and / or community

  • Attempts to harm your relationships or reputation

  • Controlling with whom  you spend time

Physical abuse 

Physical violence is often used with other forms of abuse such as psychological and emotional abuse

  • Causing bodily harm by: pinching, spitting, slapping, kicking, scratching, punching, biting, choking, burning, pulling hair, using weapons, etc.

  • Pushing, pulling, carrying you against your will or forcibly grabbing your clothing

  • Throwing items

  • Confining you: Holding you down, locking you in a room or car, blocking exits, hiding your keys, sabotaging your car etc

  • Abandoning you in an unsafe place

  • Refusing to help you when you’re sick or injured

  • Stalking, following and chasing you

Sexual abuse

  • Any non-consensual sexual act in a relationship.  Consent should be freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic and specific. 

  • Any forced sexual act

  • Sexual harassment

  • Manipulating or coercing you into sexual acts

  • Forcing you to take your clothes off

  • Taking pictures or videos without your knowledge or consent

 Technological Abuse

  • Using technology to monitor and track your whereabouts

  • Sending abusive or threatening texts

  • Sending photos without your consent

  • Pressuring you  to send photos against your  will

  • Demanding access to devices and passwords, tracking your cell phone and other devices

  • Using spyware to monitor your activity

Financial abuse

  • Partial or total control of finances

  • Controlling shared income, inheritance, or employment income

  • Denying you access to money or your financial records

  • Preventing you from working outside the home or engaging in other activity that would lead to financial independence

spiritual abuse

Spiritual abuse can occur with any religion - when your partner controls you by using religion or faith as a tool. Abuse partner:

  • Shames or makes fun of your religion

  • Prevents you from practising your religion or spiritual beliefs

  • Forces you, the children, to practice their faith / or not to practice yours, despite your disagreement

  • Uses religious texts or beliefs to justify the abuse

  • Examples: Uses religion to control your clothing, dietary practices, behaviour, sexuality, number of children, finances, etc.

Post Separation Abuse

Contrary to common thinking, safety is often not assured after separation. In fact, physical abuse is known to increase after separation. The goal of an abuser might be to re-establish lost control, to convince you to return, or to “have the last word”.

Tactics include an emphasis on:

  • Increased stalking and harassment, including the use of spyware

  • Children might be used to spy on their mother, or the abuser might threaten to harm the children, not return them to their mother, ignore the children’s needs and schedules, or report their mother to Youth Protection etc.

  • Using the legal system to manipulate you (e.g., prolong court proceedings, false accusations)

  • Financial and work related - Threatening your work or forms of income as a way of convincing you to return

Immigration Status Abuse

These are specific tactics used to threaten the immigration process of partners. 

  • Destroying immigration papers

  • Threatening to hurt your family in your home country

  • Threatening to have you deported

  • Threatening that you will lose your children

In Canada, undocumented immigrants have RIGHTS.  You do not need to stay in an abusive relationship to maintain your immigration status.  In case of emergency, contact the police. 

For more information, please see the Canadian Government website: https://www.canada.ca/en/immigration-refugees-citizenship/services/immigrate-canada/family-sponsorship/abuse.html

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